To My Child on Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day! I know, I know. This day is supposed to be about celebrating me. But let's face it, I wouldn't be a mother without YOU.
Right now, you and daddy are at the store picking me up a gift while I am at home where I am supposed to be taking a nap. Instead, I am sitting on the couch, enjoying a chocolate shake and writing this letter to you. Though a nap would have been nice, I know this is a much better use of my free time, because there is something about today that I desperately want you to know. It is not all about me.
You see, the relationship between a mother and child differs greatly based on who you are in the equation. As the child, Mother's Day was just as exciting to me as my mom's birthday. I got to make her homemade gifts, take her breakfast in bed and spend the day merely enjoying being around her. But with you, sweetheart, I am the mother, and this day has taken on a whole new meaning.
Being a mother is tough. I won't tiptoe around that point, because that would feel more like a lie. It is tough in every sense of the word. Physically, emotionally, mentally, you name it.
I can still remember when my feet swelled three times their size when I was pregnant with you. It was so painful I could barely walk. And let's not mention my shoes. Needless to say, they now sit by themselves in my closet, too stretched out for me to wear until the next baby comes along. But I pushed through, because you were worth it.
And, as much as I may like to forget, I can still feel the pain of childbirth after my epidural wore off. It was incredibly painful, but that's alright. I kind of like the reminder, because you were worth it.
My back hurts a lot more now that you are a toddler. Though you have an increasingly strong sense of independence, I simply can't say no when you reach your little arms up asking me to hold you. That 24 pounds is always a lot heavier than I expect, but don't worry, because you are worth it.
You give me about eight mini heart attacks a day. Whether you are playing chubby bunny with your pancakes at breakfast or climbing to the top of the stairs by yourself when the gate is down, I know each day I will be saying a prayer for your safety in some form or another. This is the only time in life I am grateful for my own baby face, since the added stress has probably kicked up the aging process by a few years. That's okay though, because you are worth it.
And though I don't like to admit it, sometimes I give in to the negative self talk when I feel my body just isn't quite what it used to be. But that is a mental struggle that is all my own and I am thankful to the Lord above that I have you to remind me why it shouldn't matter. I can look at each mark and know they are all worth it, because you are worth it.
So here I am, waiting in anxious anticipation to see what kind of gift you got me this year. I absolutely adore anything with your little hand and footprints on it. And if you bring me flowers, I promise you I will display them proudly until the last petal falls.
But know, sweet child, that you have already given me the best gift you could and ever will give me. You made me a mama. I could never ask for anything more.
With all my love,